I don't think I'm alone in saying that when I first saw Frank Booth dry hump, humiliate, and otherwise violently sexually assault Isabella Rossellini while calling her Mommy, I couldn't help but think stability, tranquility, and, most of all, security. The authoritative, crazed wheeze of this boozing, womanizing, rage-driven actor is a guiding light in the unpredictable, confusing world of investing.
That's why I know I can trust Ameritrade. I'm sure that Dennis Hopper wouldn't represent a company that was anything other than a rock of respectability. When I hear him in those commercials, it's the familiar voice of a coke-dealing, LSD-fueled hippie cowboy biker putting me at ease.
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